Sunday, March 31, 2013


Mary Kate Olsen sporting the latest in protective streetwear...
It just keeps coming back, like Herpes, and now Biker Chic is stronger than ever!  Every major fashion house has re-discovered the magnetic sexual pull of the black-clad motorcyclist, and cargo ships from China and Pakistan are foundering under the weight of thousands of cheap leather jackets headed to our shores.
LiLo in black leather..ish.  She's got a biker attitude, and looks like she's been chasing white lines...
It doesn't matter that the leather is under 1mm thick, as these jackets will never be used 'in anger', not even on a moped, because let's face it, ACTUAL motorcycling is dead as a doornail.  Kids today could give a hoot about escaping their schools, parents, or towns using two wheels; they're not interested in Anything but playing with their little screens.
Appropriate footwear for an oil-spewing Shovelhead?  Let's see you kickstart that puppy in heels...
A few oddball youngsters will pick up motorcycling like a foreign language, because they're strange, or their parents ride, but in general, motorcycling has lost its mojo.   The skills, fresh air, danger, and freedom granted by riding matters nought, and new bike sales graphs skid downhill like ski slopes.
On the runway, not the roadway...
But the 'Look' of motorcycling is HOT! Who needs to ride when HandM and Zara are selling such cool 'bikerish' leather?  When every model is stretched across an old bike, but are never photographed handling a 500lb motorcycle...or are fakey-photographed on a 'moving' bike, while perched on a trailer! 
A Matchless G9 in a 'fashion' shoot of the your heart out, Kate Moss

[While this article hews close to the truth, it's really about April Fool's, folks!]


WhitelinePsycho said...

If motorcycling has indeed lost its mojo, then perhaps that's a good thing, perhaps a lot the hipster, flannel, beardo, inked up scenesters might find something else to do with their dole/social security cheques while awaiting their 'big break' into Hollyweird.

GuitarSlinger said...

Amen brother .. preach it to the masses . April Fools this may be .... but like so much ' fiction ' its more ' real ' than any of us would care to realize . Truth almost always being stranger than fiction .

And .... a big +1 to WhitelinePsycho as well . Glad I'm not the only one thats had his/her fill of ' Hipstermania '

Anonymous said...


Once again, you are brilliantly
out of your mind..You continue to
amaze my semi-literate mind.

Blind Melon

William said...

Thanks for this..
This is all soooo correct.. look what's happened to Belstaff in Italian hands.. fashionistas tackle at monster money. And now the very same family have aquired the Matchless trading name.. they are going to produce.. fashion garments of motorcycle style. NOTHING sacred..!
Hope to see you at Stafford show this month.

Conchscooter said...

I love April First. This one was the best. Cheers.

Graham Motzing said... what are the little adverts along the right side of the screen about, then?

I manufacture engine parts, metal things that require engineering, testing, quality control and have a slim-to-none profit margin... turns out screen printing pseudo-motorcycle junk in china is much more profitable. Who'da thunkit.

ps. us hipsters are all living off student loans if you were wondering how we can afford $100 jeans that last through half a summer or one slight get-off. still haven't figured out what everyone is doing tapping on little screens all day. maybe reading this blog?

The Vintagent said...

Ah, Graham, you missed the joke! April Fools!

Besides, note the 'we' in these articles...I'm talking about myself as much as anyone else - maybe even more!

Anonymous said...

Hi Paul,
Loved your most recent post(s). I can validate your comment about young people only caring about their little screens. I see it for myself right here in my own house – tho there is a garage with a dozen bikes in it just paces away.
Meanwhile, per the Chanel commercial with the 750 SS. Did you ever see this one from Cadillac with the 750 GT snippet?
Hope to see you at the Quail,

Anonymous said...

The 1% can buy everything but a soul...

- Liam O'Connor

Anonymous said...

Sadly [Mary Kate's] jacket probably costs more than my pre-unit Triumph...

- Paul Luc